50th Wedding Anniversary

I didn't think I would get my wish.  Dave made it to our fiftieth wedding anniversary. Now that old saying comes into play, "Be careful what you wish for!"  I have no idea what is God's plan for Dave and I have no idea what is His plan for me.  I try to make decisions to benefit Dave and then I second guess myself.  Was Dave better off in a nursing home? Was he more active? Does he sleep as much as  there as he sleeps at home?  Does Dave care where he is?  I think the answer to all those questions is yes.  Meanwhile, as he is unable to walk, I am getting worn down.  My dragging him out of the wheelchair and transferring him to bed is exhausting.  Mentally too.  Oh dear Lord, tell me what to do.