A Typical Day

Different stages of life brought different typical days.  I had a great childhood.  My Dad made a playhouse in the back yard.  I would have dolls and tea parties there.  So I guess my typical day was to go to school, come home, change clothes and go out to play until the dinner bell rang.  My Mom never worried where I was because once she rang the dinner bell (a cow bell), I would come running.

Before marriage, a typical day was to go to work, come home to a hot meal, help a little around the house, go to bed, repeat the next day.  Friday was pay day so I would go shopping with a friend.

Before having children, a typical day was to work hard all week so we could party on the weekends.

I struggle to think if those days were any different from today.  I am retired and I guess I never liked to be just a housewife.  I care for sweet Dave who has a different typical day.  He tends to sleep alot.  I try to keep him going.  He doesn't want to get out of bed and eats poorly when he does.  I think the trick or key to happiness is not to think about it.

Blessings

Time to count my blessings.  While I may not be happy with my life, I must count my blessings.  So many things could be worse.  One: I have help at home.  I know others who have no help and their spouse has Alzheimer's.  Two: I have plenty of food to eat.  When I drive through the poorer section of town, I see food lines and young people with babies waiting in line.  Three.  I have a roof over my head.  There may be bills that I struggle meet, like taxes but I am not wandering around looking for a place to rest my head.  What would Dave do who is not walking well? Four:  I have a wonderful family who help me and cheer me.  Five: I have a great dog who cuddles with both Dave and I.  What more could I ask for? And thanks for a wonderful sister who reminds me of these blessings.  Let me think of others instead of worrying about how unfair life is to me.  Thank you God.

Stagnant

I like to consult my Destiny Dice.  It is more than just a horoscope.  Silly but it seems to fit.  The dice say I am in a stagnant stage of life. On another question it says that destiny has it’s plan and to get ready for big changes.  This is similar to the saying, ‘ Man makes plans and God laughs.”  I think I think too much.

Dave seems to improve some days and fail others.  Dementia is such an awful disease.  You have to live it to understand it.  My family asks why am I so sad or so tired.  I have no answer for them.  On the days that Dave wants to sleep, I think all sorts of crazy things, like these are the end stages.  He is eating poorly as well.  My aides are so patient and caring.  I am learning to take each day slow.  Give Dave time.  After four days, he starts to eat and is starting to wake more.  I suppose I should be glad Dave is not wandering at night.  It could be worse.  But, it has been my experience that things change and anything could happen.  At times, I see more aggression.  Dave gets stubborn about bath time or bed changing time, saying no to everything.  Hey, maybe life is not so stagnant after all.

50th Wedding Anniversary

I didn't think I would get my wish.  Dave made it to our fiftieth wedding anniversary. Now that old saying comes into play, "Be careful what you wish for!"  I have no idea what is God's plan for Dave and I have no idea what is His plan for me.  I try to make decisions to benefit Dave and then I second guess myself.  Was Dave better off in a nursing home? Was he more active? Does he sleep as much as  there as he sleeps at home?  Does Dave care where he is?  I think the answer to all those questions is yes.  Meanwhile, as he is unable to walk, I am getting worn down.  My dragging him out of the wheelchair and transferring him to bed is exhausting.  Mentally too.  Oh dear Lord, tell me what to do.

God's plan

A happier outlook on life.  Suddenly Dave is doing much better.  Maybe his tummy problems have cleared because he is starting to gain weight.  Oh happy day.  He was much too thin and looked like end stages of life.  So, my plan is to take him home next week and use aides and physical therapy to help him walk again.  Just having him smile makes my day.  Thank you God.  I should have known you were planning this all along.

I've got this

If you didn't see Dave's condition you would think I was making things up.  He spent five days at the nursing rehab sleeping.  I was so angry to see him still in his night clothes at 1:00 pm.  The aides and nurses said he refused to get dressed and was combative. OMG.  I angrily said, let's get him up NOW...I was more annoyed at the lack of help.   Long story later, I managed to get him to therapy where they somehow got him to stand and walk a bit.   It was a step, excuse the pun.  The next day I had a planning meeting.  Funny how Dave was up , dressed and in a wheelchair ready to go.  I helped therapy to force Dave to stand and walk.  He walked a bit further, still hunched over.

Six days later, Dave is doing very well.  It is like a brain button was pushed, maybe by getting him dressed first thing in the morning, but he is now trying to walk and doing better. Instead of crying each day, I am hopeful.  The church sermon for Sunday was about giving your troubles to God and let Him handle it.  He is saying to you, "I've got this."