Wake up Call

I had a wake up call.  As Dave's caretaker, I thought I had life under control.  Then I got sick and had to be hospitalized.  If I wasn't shaking so much with a 103 fever I probably would have ignored my symptoms but I needed antibiotics.  Not a big deal but Dave would be left alone.  My sons continue to amaze me when they take over care  of their parents.  With seemingly little effort,  everything was handled.  Maybe I worried for nothing but I will be better prepared next time with a care plan.

Loosing it

A beautiful Sunday with a family dinner. The trouble with having too much fun is that I forget the routines and totally forgot to give Dave his meds.  Thank goodness blood pressure and sugars were not too bad.  I gave him the missed dosage this morning.  The responsibility falls on me.  I can remember when Dave took one pill each evening. He now takes seven in the morning and five in the evening. Not to mention insulin.  It is confusing enough for me at times.  I am not a nurse but I think I am experienced after many years.  I tell Dave he is screwed...his caretaker is loosing it.

Obstacles

Dave has good and bad days.  Yesterday was a good day.  Normal conversation started after being so quiet for days.  A trip to the dentist without the wheelchair prompted more energy.  He used his walker.  Exercise is definitely good.  The only trouble is the effort it takes to make Dave participate.  He moves extremely slow when I know he can do better. Then, when I am out with the dog or somewhere other than by his side, Dave will get up and head back to bed.  Normally, this is ok but there were obstacles in the hallway, making his trip more difficult.  Good thing I checked.  Dave was barely hanging on to the bed, half hanging off.  And good thing my dear son was still home as I called for him in  a panic.  All is well, lesson learned?  I doubt it.  All memory of this will be gone.

Alzheimers

It helps so much to chat within a support group for Alzheimers.  Dave has vascular dementia which seems not as bad as Alzheimers.  His cognitive abilities have slowed , taking a long time to answer questions but he still knows my name.  As I listen to others in the group, I can't help but think that I have it easy.  Dave is not that bad.  Then I wonder, is he headed that way?

An uncomplicated life?

I think I lead an uncomplicated life but such little things add up.  Take yesterday.  When I told Dave Sarah and I were going to a women's society meeting, he said, "plotting against us?"  I had to laugh as I have heard that from some movie.  The day progressed from rushing to that meeting, to going to the bank, to shopping at Sam's club.  Now that doesn't sound like much but it had to be completed within a time frame. (before my aide left the house.) Next came two visits of friends with their dogs... I love the company but I am now tired. Onward to household chores.

The Joy of Dogs

My little pooch is mellowing.... no more biting.  I wake in the morning with Shaemus in between Dave and me, on his back, legs reaching upward.  He looks over at me as if to say, "Is it time to get up?"  So we get up and take a potty break outside.  Sarah's dog is still a puppy. but she is starting to bond with my dog.  Shaemus actually shared his stuffed toys with Sarah's dog.  Too cute.  Still, the best of all is to see Dave smiling at Shaemus.  Now, there is a bond.

Distractions

Our dogs (mine and Sarah,s) are racing around the house.  The cat hides in the back room. It is wonderful to have distractions.  I am not dwelling on Dave's health. His dementia seems to be affecting him physically more than anything.  His legs get weaker with the lack of exercise.   I try to squeeze in some exercise.  I should talk.  I hate to do it myself and am now feeling the stiffness.  My Mom and my sister had knee replacements.  I think my knee hurts due to banging it hard into the coffee table.  More advil is on my agenda.

Pajama party, Clean up and Quilt

The pajama party continues.  Sarah and I have so much to chat about. I also feel ambitious to clean up the clutter.  This mood does not strike often...maybe it is the company as I work makes the job so much more pleasant  It has been ages since I started a new quilt.  Quilting takes my mind off my worries.  I am starting a new  square called "mosaic".

Pajama party

My best friend Sarah,  arrives today for a few days with her dog.  Sarah is having her bathroom remodeled and will not have water.    The last time we got together was due to a snow storm that took away her electric.   Dave, who is so quiet will enjoy the excitement.  I call it a pajama party since we will not be in a rush to get out of our pajamas before having morning coffee.

I think the dogs will enjoy each other too.  Both dogs are around two years old so we shall see who tires out first.

Heifer Project

Feed the dog, feed the cat, feed the fish, make coffee, feed Dave.  My day starts out taking care of others.  I don't mind but there never seems time to take my time.  I rush to get to church to help the children with a Heifer Fair.   The kids made items to sell, like painted flower pots with flowers, or clay key rings or origami flowers to raise money for the Heifer project.  What is the Heifer project you ask?  It is an organization that helps foreign countries by giving them farm animals such as a cow, duck, rabbit or goat and much more.  Have you read the book Beatrice's goat?  or seen her on the Oprah show?  Beatrice was a young girl in Africa who started to sell the milk she got from her Heifer project goat.  She made enough money to obtain another goat and to pass along her wealth to the other natives. Several years later, as told by Oprah, Beatrice was able to attend college in the United States.  Isn't that great? And here I am complaining about my mundane chores.  Forgive me dear Heifer project.  I am truly fortunate with my ordinary life.

.... a little help from my friends

Free style Libre.  That's the name of the new glucose meter.  What a wonderful tool to take Dave's sugar reading without a finger prick.  I got smiles instead of grumpiness. Dave said "ow"...only kidding.

The Quilt show is today.  I will enjoy it like an art show, not to mention all the vendors who sell material and things for sewing.

Best of all was a visit from my neighbor bearing a bottle of wine.  We sat outside on the back porch enjoying great conversation, not to mention the wine too.  Talk about getting by with a little help from your friends.  I was so glad I had help to get Dave back in his chair.  He was beginning to slide to the floor.  Dave can be very stubborn.  He said he did not want to go back to bed but I guess he changed his mind and tried to make it by himself.  It is these kind of episodes that make me sad but not today.  Just call me Aunt B as I go off to the quilt show.

Diabetes too.

Normal: another day same as usual.  Today we will go to the endocrinologist to learn about a new glucose meter that does not require blood.  If this sounds like Greek to you, you are lucky enough not to have diabetes.  As a caretaker, I must test Dave's sugar level each morning.  This requires a drop of blood on a test strip which is placed in a meter reader.  The new meter will read a patch which is placed on the  top of the arm without any blood.  Hooray. That means less pricking the finger to obtain blood.  It is bad enough that often insulin is required. One could have up to four finger pricks and four needles stuck in their arm, stomach or upper leg.  Not pleasant.  Dave used to give himself the needles but he needs me to do it now.  I got over that awful feeling of entering the skin.  How do nurses and doctors do this all the time?

So this is normal.  The only trouble is finding myself among  the caretaking. I think I will get my nails done today.

At Home, fighting the blues

Some days are good and some are bad..  I question my friends why I have these moods and they say they have the same feelings.  When I retired the doctor would ask, "any depressed feelings?"  "No, of course not." I would reply, thinking the doctor was nuts.  Well, here I am, ten years later, fighting the blues. If I make plans to go out to lunch with a friend, the blues disappear. I have a new goal, not just the daily housework or the daily caretaker work.  Another friend said it is part of aging.   I often wonder who else has these feelings.  And, like dementia is willing to admit it.

I turn my music box up loud and begin the daily chores.  I feel better already.

Dog therapy

When I lost my beloved dog, Turner, I thought I would never get over him.  I was beginning to think I need grief counseling.  I kept seeing Turner's sweet face, with ears down.  He was so sick, I had to make that decision to put him down. "No more dogs!" I protested to friends. "That's it. "  So I tried living without a dog for two weeks before I decided I needed another dog.

I investigated Pet Finder and Pet Rescue sites.  My first choice was a dog named Hunny Bunny.  She did remind me of Turner but that would be ok.  When it was time for us to meet, the rescue said Hunny Bunny had been in a puppy mill for the past six years.  Oh wow, I didn't think that would work so they introduced me to another dog, named Skippy.  He was so cute and playful .  He had a few short comings, like biting..jeez.. I fell in love so we took him home.  We gae him a  new name, Shaemus.  He has fur like an Irish Hound and has a look about him like Tramp in Lady and the Tramp. He plays a bit rough with lots of love bites but I am working on that .  All in all, I think I made a good choice because Shaemus sits on Dave's lap and makes him smile.

More history of my dementia story

I know no one wants to hear my woes from the past ten years but in an effort to get to present day, here is some more of my story.

My hubby drank a lot of beer,  it was family tradition. Over the years, the beer drinking evolved into the hard stuff.  I had to attend AA myself to get clean.  I may have been a good example because Dave slowed down on his drinking too.  The trouble was that many times I thought Dave had passed out from drinking when it was really either a diabetic attack or a TIA again.  It is truly amazing that he lived through these episodes.  When he needed an operation, he down played the amount of daily alcohol he drank.  After the operation, he went through the DTs and even suffered respiratory arrest.

The more I write about Dave's history, the more I realize how dementia started and it explains his behavior today.  The highs and lows of his dementia is enough to make me crazy.  One day he is so depressed, all he wants to do is sleep.  He gets angry with me for forcing him out of bed.  The next day he is looking for his pogo stick. ( figuratively speaking as my friend would say.)

And so I will try to write in the present from now on.